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Truly these last months since you taht awful day at work, when you told me you were leaving have been the worst of my entire life. I would never have asked you to leave your present relationship, you made that choice years ago, and I'm no naive child, but to be so completely cut off is just so awful. I have never even had the chance to explain to you that for me you became that perfect person. Not you i would not change a single thing about you. Life really I guess is a bit of a cost benefit thing. I had hoped that time would heal but no, my love for you remains a true and strong as anything in history, it is an elemental force like the love of Anthony for Cleopatra, Romeo for Juliet, Edward for Mrs Simpson, Bogie for Ba.

So, it's pretty much decided now that I shall die soon. Don't know exactly when, or how yet, and I have yet to decide if it will be in a very public way, making one last attempt to get you to let me back into your life in some way, or if it's simply best to drive to somplace pretty and do it there.

My inclination is to be public but un course it's so very unlikely to work and it's so much effort. I can now barely walk a hundred yards and the rantou, day i spent an entire evening with moderate chest pain, obvious what's going on. I didn't even try to seek help, just went to bed hoping not to wake up. Someone of your personality wouldn't like me. I wouldn't make a first move so at the end of my night I guess I asked something and you replied but that didn't go far. Well hit me up. I'm in town for a another week then it's off to my side of town.

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