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It came about in a way that was slow-burning and then completely unexpected, most of all to myself. My friends were gratifyingly agog and full of safely married encouragement. I have no idea how I did it. I have spent my life crucified by my curves, eating disorders and all, and these days I am worried about wrinkles as well as fat and physical flaws. But the venture was so incredibly exciting, if so madcap and doomed, that I found I didn't care what I looked like. It was almost as if the absence of competition — how could I possess the youthful attributes of women his age? I had to assume he appreciated qualities which I had and which they did not.

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My hopeful answer was that plenty of men wax lyrical about the older women with whom they had flings when they were young. Surely no amount of mechanical "technique" learned from the internet can replace experience? Friends asked if it was odd dating someone younger. Curiously, despite the gulf of reference and experience, not at all. We liked and respected each other. In the end, though, the inevitable futurelessness began to eclipse the fun, and it ended, but datnig remain on the best of terms. I was xating when I was young, too, but at least I had youth on my side datnig, even if I didn't appreciate it. It is the combination of middle age and new technologies that feels so scary Onine doom-laden.

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But the venture was so incredibly exciting, if so madcap and doomed, that I found I didn't care what I looked like. It was almost as if the absence of competition — how could I possess the youthful attributes of women his age? I had to assume he appreciated qualities which I had and which they did not. This was fantastically liberating. The other worry my friends voiced was porn.

How could I compete with women his age who had been force-fed a diet of the stuff and learned practices and techniques that had doubtless never crossed my boring married mind? In the olden days, we had an expression — good in bed — which seems hopelessly unfit for purpose in Only in a bed? My hopeful answer was that plenty of men wax lyrical about the older women with whom they had flings when they were young. Surely no amount of mechanical "technique" learned from the internet can replace experience? Friends asked if it was odd dating someone younger. Curiously, despite the gulf of reference and experience, not at all. We liked and respected each other. In the end, though, the inevitable futurelessness began to eclipse the fun, and it ended, but we remain on the best of terms.

I was vulnerable when I was young, too, but at least I had youth on my side then, even if I didn't appreciate it. It is the combination of middle age and new technologies that feels so scary and doom-laden. Yes, there is wisdom, experience and a different kind of hard-won confidence, but there is baggage, too. In my 20s it was basic. Do I fancy him? If yes, does he fancy me? One tick, no sex, though possibly, if there was no alternative that evening.

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